In the BEcoming: The New Normal

I’ve talked a lot lately about BEcoming. Honestly, I am truly enjoying the journey.

But I also want to talk about the days when the New Normal feels so out of pocket and so surreal that you don’t quite know what to do with it. The days when you literally feel like you don’t know.

Several months ago, I visited my children’s grandfather on their dad’s side. He has early-onset dementia, yet he often says things to me that feel almost like a secret between the two of us.

Most of the time, I understand what he is referencing on a level that others may not. I don’t say that arrogantly. It is simply that sometimes he will say something that sparks a memory in my mind. Sometimes, it is something I had forgotten. Other times, it takes me back to conversations we had decades ago—moments and memories that still mean something to me.

The last time I saw him, he said something that has stayed with me.

Although it could easily be dismissed as an utterance caused by the dementia, something about his words settled in my spirit. They caused me to see myself—and this season of my life—in the light of purpose a little more clearly.

He said:

“I’ve been looking for myself, but I can’t find me. If you see me, would you let me know?”

I responded almost without hesitation, “Yes, Sir. I sure will.”

Although I know his words were connected to the changes taking place in his mind, they sparked a change in mine. They made me stop and consider a few questions:

• Who am I?

• Where am I?

• And what version of me am I looking for?

Because if I’m honest, those questions have followed me throughout this season of BEcoming.

I know me. I know the essence of who I am. But somewhere in this process of BEcoming, I realized that I don’t look like what I used to.

And honestly, I don’t desire to.

I am not yet fully the person God is making me to BE, though I deeply desire to become her. So here I am, learning to embrace the New Normal—the new boundaries, the changes in the way I see myself, and the way I now view my gifts, my talents, and the divine calling on my life.

Yet right here, in the middle of BEcoming, there are still moments when I ask:

Who am I while I BEcome?

Have you felt that same tug lately?

Maybe your life has changed, and you are still adjusting to what it means. Maybe your priorities have shifted. Maybe the things you once accepted no longer fit the person you are becoming. Perhaps you have outgrown some spaces, habits, relationships, or even versions of yourself.

And while you know that growth is taking place, the unfamiliarity of it all can sometimes make you feel a little lost.

But perhaps you are not lost at all.

Perhaps you are simply no longer who you used to be, and you are still getting acquainted with who you are becoming.

The truth is, the version of you that exists right now is necessary for the version of you that is still being formed.

The good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful moments all have a place in the process. Every season is teaching something. Every change is revealing something. Every experience has the potential to shape you.

You are still being built.

Still being transformed.

Still becoming.

So if this New Normal feels unfamiliar, give yourself permission to learn it. Give yourself grace when you do not have all the answers. You do not have to rush to figure out every part of who you are becoming.

You simply have to stay in the process.

Strategies

There is no strategy that will allow us to avoid every uncomfortable moment of growth. Sometimes the strategy is not to figure everything out. Sometimes the strategy is to pause long enough to recognize that the discomfort may not mean something is wrong.

It may simply mean something is changing.

As you navigate your own New Normal, consider these strategies:

• Stop looking for the old version of yourself. You may not be able to find her because she has already served her purpose in getting you to where you are now.

• Pay attention to what no longer fits. Not everything you are leaving behind was bad. Some things simply belong to a previous season.

• Give yourself permission to adjust. New boundaries, new priorities, and new perspectives may require you to live differently than you once did.

• Don't confuse unfamiliar with wrong. Just because this version of your life feels different does not mean you are headed in the wrong direction.

• Stay present in the process. Instead of constantly searching for who you will become, allow yourself to fully embrace who you are right now.

There is purpose in the version of you that is still figuring it out.

Connections

One of the most beautiful parts of BEcoming is recognizing that we are not the only ones trying to find our footing in a new season.

My children's grandfather's words made me think about how often we can spend our lives looking for ourselves. We search through old memories, old identities, old roles, and old versions of who we used to be, hoping to find something familiar.

But what if the version of you that you are searching for is not behind you?

What if God is introducing you to someone you have never fully met before?

The woman with the new boundaries.

The woman who sees herself differently.

The woman who no longer apologizes for walking in her gifts.

The woman who understands that purpose may require change.

The woman who is learning that she can honor who she was without returning to who she used to be.

Maybe that is where the connection lies.

Between who you were and who you are becoming.

Between the familiar and the unknown.

Between the woman you recognize and the woman God is revealing.

You do not have to reject your past to embrace your future. You can appreciate every version of yourself that helped carry you to this moment while still giving yourself permission to grow beyond her.

Words

When the New Normal feels unfamiliar and you find yourself wondering, Who am I while I BEcome?, let these words remind you of what is true:

I am not lost. I am in process.

I do not have to return to who I was in order to recognize who I am.

I give myself permission to grow, change, and embrace what God is doing in me.

I will not confuse unfamiliarity with failure.

I am learning to trust the version of me that is emerging.

I release the need to have every answer right now.

I embrace the boundaries, lessons, and changes that are helping to shape my purpose.

Every version of me has contributed to who I am becoming.

I am becoming more aware of who God created me to BE.

I will stay in the process. I will keep growing. I will keep becoming.

Because the YOU on the other side of this BEcoming is worth every moment when you feel unclear and unsure, afraid or apprehensive, or even a little lost in the process.

Hang on.

Stay in the process.

Keep becoming.

Before you know it, you will be walking, talking, and living more fully in YOUR purpose. And perhaps one day, you will look back at this version of yourself—the one who was trying to figure it all out—and realize that she was never lost.

She was becoming.

Because BEcoming is a journey, not a destination.

So embrace every season. Embrace every lesson. And yes, embrace every version of you that God uses to bring you closer to the person you were created to BE.

You may not fully recognize her yet.

But keep going.

You are getting to know her.

And she is getting to know you.

Heal. Grow. Become. Walk in Purpose.